The Spectrum of Womanhood: Reflections on WHM 2023

Let’s be honest. The last few years have not been great if you’re a woman, and especially if you’re a queer woman. Between the overturning of Roe v. Wade to a slew of anti-LGBTQ+ laws (that will definitely have effects outside the LGBTQ+ community), it’s easy to feel like we’re being attacked from all sides.

In response to that overwhelming feeling, our women’s ERG, Herizon, decided that this year’s Women’s History Month should be dedicated to two things:

1. Womanhood in all its forms (for all our sisters, not just our cis-ters!)

2. Celebrating our womanhood, and sharing that celebration with the world.

So, on March 8, AKA, International Women’s Day, we got a panel together of some of our best femme minds and asked the following questions:

What were you taught about being a woman growing up? What feels true to you and what doesn’t? And what does “womanhood” mean to you in 2023?

Here’s a glimpse into the conversation with our panelists as we reflect on a Women’s History Month for the books:

Kiku Gross (she/her)Despite having a pretty open/gender neutral childhood, I was constantly told that I was doing girlhood and womanhood “wrong” by a ton of outside sources—and it really did affect how I viewed myself and my relationship to my gender.

Being an Asian-American queer woman means that people have a lot of preconceived notions about me, and that I’m fighting a lot of biases either before or as soon as I walk into a room. People expect me to be quiet, demure, passive/permissive, and when I don’t act that way, historically, it’s taken as a personal attack. I have been told I don’t “dress appropriately” (wearing jeans and a button up shirt instead of a dress). I have been told repeatedly that I am “too aggressive”. I can’t even count the times I’ve been spoken over or flat out ignored. And whenever I spoke up about these experiences, I was either made to feel like it was actually my fault for not following along with people’s preconceived notions or I was told I was making it up/overreacting. Hello gaslighting!

So with all that being said, I think what “womanhood” means to me in 2023, and what feels true to me is simply “what makes me feel good.”

I love makeup and plushies. I also love to swear and go to punk shows and watch horror movies. Womanhood to me is undefinable because it’s everything we as women do!

Mikila Lawless (she/her)I've been very lucky to witness the antithesis of misogynistic cultural values thanks to my immediate family. So, as much as there were and still are underlying issues of "women do this, men do that," I never saw that from my parents. I was able to use that inspiration to create my own version of what it means to be a woman, and that, ultimately, changes every day for me. Mostly, what feels true to me is breaking traditional values. I don't know if I'll be married, have kids, or be a homemaker. Still, I have the opportunity to decide that if one day that all is for me, I know it's actually FOR me because I was 1000% authentic to myself throughout this entire journey of womanhood. Knowing that there is no single way to be a woman also allows me to be incredibly open, authentic, and loving to those who are just starting their womanhood journey. In 2023, womanhood to me is an ever changing sense of self, it's authenticity, it's open mindedness, and it's loving and caring for ALL of my trans and cis sisters.  

Kendall Palmer (she/her)Womanhood (along with all other identities) is intersectional. All of our experiences culminate into how we interact with the world around us and how the world (society, systems, communities) interacts back. Acknowledging this provides an opportunity to reflect on my own experiences as a white, cis-gendered, lesbian woman. I’ve been able to step into my own and present in a manner that feels true to me. We have language and labels in order to make sense of the world around us, though we do not always have to abide by the normalities or stereotypes that come with them. Womanhood has been a foundational aspect of my lived experiences as it pertains to my friendships and relationships. I’ve found the most valuable connections in my life are with other women, specifically my mom and girlfriend. Being in a lesbian relationship throughout my teenage years and into early adulthood has given me the opportunity to feel validated in how I behave and present as a woman but more importantly, as me.

Olivia Singer (she/her)Coming from a multicultural family with different values and ideals, it was really interesting growing up and learning what it means to be a woman. I’m half Chinese, half Russian—and in many ways, their views of womanhood are quite different. Traditionally, Asian women are expected to be docile, quiet, gentle, and subservient. My grandma, who was born in China in the late 1920s, passed along these ideals, while my mother, who was born in Lithuania in the 1960s taught my sisters and me to be strong, independent, vocal, and fearless. As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned to appreciate both of these philosophies and focus on certain qualities from each. I think the beautiful thing about being a woman is that we have the intuition to be both gentle and strong, career driven and a home-maker, outspoken and someone who also knows how to listen. To me, being a woman in 2023 means being your authentic self. I’d say “what feels true” is what makes you feel empowered, secure, and happy—no matter what that looks like, because it’s different for all of us!

Herizon aims to unite the women of Praytell to empower each other, discuss women’s issues and advocate for intersectional equality within our industry and wider communities through collaboration, education, action, and mentorship.